Its easy to bitch about my job, and I do...a lot. But I often find it difficult when I work in a hospital. I see patients being wheeled all over the place and there is nothing more wicked than seeing sick kids. Brenner children hospital has 11 floors of sick kids, really sick kids. Kids that may never grow up to bitch about work, May never know a sunrise at the beach after a nigt with your friends, may never know what it feels like to have great sex, to laugh so hard you cry. I think about this as I see parents trying to hold it together while they hold a little hand with that medical bracelet thats way to big. No parent should have to bury a child.
Ate a pathetic breakfast in a hurry. had leftover spaghetti and a 150 calorie ice cream cake thing. Turned down cake today at work and was proud of myself. had a good lunch of chicken sandwhich, baked chips, 100 calorie pack, and grapes. Had my afternoon snack of a banana and 20oz of water. Good run and some pushups and a PWO shake. Dinner was sushi (which i bought for the 1st time ever tonite, i felt so pretentious)
A song hit shuffle caught me off gaurd today, its "Sensible Heart" by city and colour. its a great song about hiding emotions and I remember how much I took it to heart when I was college. Its a very haunting song right now considering how I often feel that expressing my emotional range is somewhat limited. Saying words isnt really easy for me, writing them is. But some people need the audible reassurance that I often struggle with giving. I realize that my presentation of myself often contradicts who I am. I have had some of my best friends in the world tell me they were scared or intimidated by me when they 1st met me and thats not what I want at all. Perception is the ultimate reality.
Watching a show on Discovery about all the different special units for the armed services. Amazing. I was seriously considering the Air Force last year and I often wonder where I would be in my life had I joined. These guys sacrafice so much for something invisible. I have many great philosophical differences about war but these guys have my respect hands down for the things they endure. Sure they are trained to kill but then again I do believe anyone can kill when pushed to extremes.
Tomorrow is my friday at work. Took friday off for my Labor day and am heading down to Atlanta for the UNC v LSU game. Looking foreward to spending time with family and football.
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