Chicken

Today was my friday, I cant complain.  Work meetings and such kept me fairly busy.  I ate a little too much today.  Dinner was a train wreck over at Murphys...hard to pass up homemade deviled eggs.  Had a really good workout today.  Did 8 exercise circuit and had a great sweat going.  Trying to workout without music right now, its very tough.  Listening to my body and working a lot of my endurance.  Trying to slim down, maybe find an ab or two.

Was driving home from watching football tonite and had the ole ipod on shuffle and its amazing how much music can just know your soul better than you do.  I was listening to a band named Dredg and just rocking out when the lines "your journey back to birth is haunting you"  I have been talkin alot about starting over, building something new and its startling.  I want to focus on so much down to the little details and at the same time relax enough that my compulsions dont take over.  In going back to the old me I hope to be someone who learns and is always evolving.  I will have to meet new friends, I will have sex with someone new, I will dedicate myself to all the things that used to make me happy.  But somewhere along the line I realize that I am now standing on a cliff ready to jump off.....

which is why I want to go sky diving.  Its something I have always thought about doing but i never had the money because its pretty pricey to safely jump out of a perfectly good airplane.  This is a goal of mine, to completely let go of one of my biggest fears, heights.  I am sometimes crippled by the shortast of distances off the ground but took steps in college to remedy that.  I have jumped off a 40 and 60 ft cliff into a pool of cold ass mountain water and there has been nothing short of a mind blowing orgasm that has come close to that kind of rush.  I want to run with that, I want to submit to my fears and just free fall.  To know that my insignificant ass can let go off everything that holds me to this place for such a short while.  I dont meditate, I dont pray, I can barely sit still to watch a football game so this forced submersion is my only way to go.  who wants to go with me?

may or may not get to the computer this weekend down in ATL, tryin to disconnect while I am relaxing on vacation.  I look foreward to a nice change and hopefully seeing a good football game.  If you see me chasing Erin Andrews around the georgia dome just know that I am running after my dream woman, no big deal.