What a good weekend. Relaxing, spent time at home with family and friends. Got off work, mowed the yard, worked out and watched the cutest damn 2 yr old run around in circles and just let it wash all over me. Sometimes we lose sight of the little things because the big things seem so tall. Its learning how to smile all over again and remembering that its the life we love to live thats worth getting out of bed.
I went looking for answers at the bottom of the bottle last nite. And sometimes thats not a bad thing. The answer is never there but the journey was the thing. The throat burn of a stiff drink and that warm feeling in your gut as everyone around starts to smile and dance. 5 people and 2 kids, all stages of life, finding out that right now is all we got. I have a gaurd around me and my heart thats tough to crack, my fear of getting hurt is sometimes overwhelming. Its hard for me to open up to family, friends, lovers and sometimes myself. I end up hurting others just to save myself in the long run and that is no way to treat the people in my life.
After the kids and the girls all fell asleep the music kept playing, the football games still went on and I sat down with two of my best friends and just let it all out. The problem with telling a secret to anyone is fearing the judgement on the end, we just need someone to listen instead of waiting to respond. But last nite I asked for guidance, I need some every now and then and its good to have points of view that arent you own to look in on from time to time. We didnt solve anything last nite, we talked about them. The world is still at war, people still need food....I dont have problems.
I woke up this morning wondering about all the things that I thought id dreamed. I checked my phone and cleaned up the home. The world around me is still spinning but I know last nite that I looked at that bitch and couldnt stop grinnin.
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